People have long agonized over this torturous question. Friendships have ended over it, lovers have quarreled over it, nations have warred over it. But listen to me, folks and jokes! I say unto you, the misery can end. I have finally determined the answer. Are you ready?
Dinosaurs.
That's right. Long before the first chicken cocka-doodle-doo'd at the dawn, dinosaurs were running around being badass motherfuckers. And not only could they easily disembowel or squash anything that got in their way, they were laying eggs all over the damn place. In fact, the amniotic egg had been in existence for some time before that, ever since the first amniotes emerged 340 million years ago in the Carboniferous period, towards the end of the Paleozoic. When it first came out, the amniotic egg was revolutionary because it meant animals could lay an egg anywhere they damn well pleased without worrying about it drying up. Before the amniotic egg's protective shell and membrane layers, animals had to reproduce near water if their young were to have any hope of surviving past embryo-hood. The first amniotes were lizard-like creatures called Casineria kiddi, and they beat out chickens by several million years.
Hopefully, these insights will put an end to the strife surrounding the chicken/egg controversy. The next time someone tries to tangle you up in this ugly dilemma, just lecture them for an hour or so about the history of biology. They'll either see the light, or they'll have stopped caring by that point and will hastily change the subject to how much money it will take to shut you up. And that's all you wanted anyway, right?
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