Be My Valentine?

It's that time of year again. Too many of my favorite places are loaded with legions of lip-locking lovers. The traffic is awful too, as everyone rushes to the mall to indulge in the commercialization of human emotion. Grocery stores are out of everything, movies are sold out, and there isn't a flower to be found in the city. When Valentine's Day descends, it doesn't leave much room for the rest of us. And, to make things worse, everything is just so damn pink.

On this day of gazing paramours, groping teenagers, and desperate singles, all I can do is smirk. After all, the initials of "Valentine's Day" could hardly be more appropriate, now could they? I like to remind people of this at every opportunity.

Yes, my favorite part of Valentine's Day is ruining it for other people. How'd you know?