Grover Cleveland is chuckling quietly at us from the grave. Why, you might ask? Let's observe this recent inauguration season. From Barack Obama's inaugural speech:
"I thank President Bush for his service to our nation, as well as the generosity and cooperation he has shown throughout this transition. Forty-four Americans have now taken the presidential oath."
Right there. Pause. Did you catch it? Or did you see it on TV? Read it in the paper? Senator Obama is the 44th President of the United States!
Lies, all lies. You're all in Grover's pocket.
Our friend Mr. Cleveland was elected in 1884 to serve as the 22nd President. Cleveland had a well-earned reputation for honesty and independent thought, and worked hard to reform a corrupted Washington, strive for bipartisanship, change tariff law, and resolve the problem of the gold standard. Nobody really agrees on Cleveland's overall effectiveness, but the general opinion is that he was a decent guy, if not a decent president.
He ran for re-election in 1888, but because of his position on controversial issues, he was soundly thrashed by Benjamin Harrison. (Although Cleveland won the popular vote by a narrow margin, Harrison walloped him in electoral votes.) Harrison did some important work in business reform--namely the Sherman Anti-Trust Act--but is mostly remembered for having a pretty snooze-worthy presidency.
The election of 1892 was a savage rematch. Cleveland v. Harrison v. Some-Third-Party-Guy-No-One-Remembers-Oh-Wait-it-was-James-Weaver-well-Whatever. All three men campaigned fiercely, but in the end, Cleveland won both the popular and electoral vote, and Grover and his young, hot wife moved back into the White House to serve out his term as the 24th President. Cleveland's second term was marked by economic depression, further tariff and labor reform, and turbulent foreign relations.
The point is, folks, that Mr. Grover "Awesome Mustache" Cleveland is the only president to ever serve non-consecutive terms, and is therefore also the only president whose multiple terms count twice. Grover's pretty cool, but does he really need that extra slice of presidential cake? Not if he wants to maintain that svelte figure!
It's time to see through the bullshit, guys. Our presidential counting system is whacked, and Obama is really the 43rd Commander-in-Chief. It's all a conspiracy. One giant, outrageous government conspiracy. Only the quibblers can save you now.
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